The ten weirdest road signs

time2018/01/20

The ten weirdest road signs

10.) Beware moose attacks

Why it's strange: Do you think that moose cares that it just wrecked your car? Look at that moose – look at its steely gaze and its defiant posture. That moose could wreck cars all day, every day. Next time I'm in moose country, I'll keep a clear eye out for these monsters, and it's all because of this sign.

9.) Immigrant crossing

Why it's strange: While these signs might not be all that surprising to our Southwestern readers, the rest of the country may be a little mystified by a sign warning drivers of families of undocumented immigrants crossing the highway.

8.) Hacked road signs

Why it's strange: Ever since we figured out how to hack electronic road signs, Americans far and wide have been helpfully alerted to all kinds of unprecedented zombie attacks on our nation's highways and byways. Up until 2009, zombie attacks on the road went largely unnoticed and motorists were poorly advised to their presence. Well, we changed all that and got some of the recognition we deserve. Thanks, citizens!

7.) Confusion Corner

Why it's strange: I've been staring at this diagram for a few minutes now and I think I have it figured out. Let's say that you're coming from the south and you want to take 95 West going to Corydon Ave. You see, you start off by taking the first right, then follow the road to the left, then suddenly veer right, as you actually have to make a quick detour up 62 North to Osborne Street, which is where the designer of this complex of intersections lives. Just a quick roundhouse kick to the face should help you vent some of your confusion-induced fury and let you continue your journey. Just head back south the way you came, make a right onto 95 West and you're practically there. Thanks, Winnipeg!

6.) Sign not in use

Why it's strange: I can't help but think that this is the most dangerous sign on this list, just because you'd be so busy wondering why the hell there's a sign that says "sign not in use" that you'd forget where you're going and spear off the road into a tree or an orphanage or something. Why is this even a thing? I suspect it's actually a coded message for the international Illuminati; it's the only explanation I have where it's not a completely meaningless waste of space.

5.) Beware Finnish zombies

Why it's strange: Google translate tells me that this sign says beware thin ice. I don't actually speak Finnish, but it's pretty clear to me that it actually is warning you about a recognized zombie hunting ground up ahead. Keep your brains safe in Finland, kids, and watch those road signs!

4.) Secret nuclear bunker

Why it's strange: I don't see why this sign made it onto this list. I mean, this sign is pretty good. It's clear and easy to read, and it tells you just where that secret nuclear bunker is hidden. No wait…

3.) Beware of road surprises

Why it's strange: While we all love the "falling rocks" signs here in the US as the most unhelpfully informative road signs, the United Arab Emerates completely trumps our efforts to simultaneously educate and mystify the driving populace. What are these surprises? Will there be candy? What about goats? Will we find the honeycomb hideout? We may never know.

2.) Beware of invisible cows

Why it's strange: I actually kind of like how informative this sign is – if most of America's deer country had signs that said "Beware of invisible deer," I know I'd drive slower at night than otherwise. There's nothing like the threat of invisible beasts endangering your car to keep you hyper-alert at the wheel.

1.) The Magic Roundabout

Why it's strange: I don't know whose bright idea it was to build five roundabouts together into a giant über-roundabout, but I'm glad that it is far, far away from me across the pond in Swindon.

The worst part is it's actually a pretty simple diagram up on that sign, I just don't believe for a minute that everything that happens in those traffic circles is nothing but an asteroid field of out-of-control commuters wreaking havoc on the roadway and on my sanity.